Like everything else in life, a career is a journey. A lot of people – especially successful,
goal oriented people - think only about the stops on that journey. For many, it’s about the roles, the
positions, the accomplishments, the money, and all the other various ways we
keep score. For me it is about the
journey – the flow of events, the relationships, the lives, the reasons and
purposes. In my mind, and in my heart, I
know that there’s always something underneath the apparent reality that is more
important.
I do let the things that I believe guide me, even in my
career. I do see the spirit move through
all the events of a life. I believe in
a higher power, in the form of the Christian Trinity, and by way of disclosure,
I am a practicing Catholic. I do not
believe these facts could be hidden for very long in any writing I do. But I do not think they will be overbearing,
just a guidepost to my language in these matters.
I always worry when the sermon at church seems to be pointed
my direction, whether positive or negative.
It’s possible to go for years in a stable, generally positive direction,
only to be suddenly blindsided for the “opportunity for growth”. Yes, when I was young there were minor
periods of spiritual enlightenment, of growing up and discovering right vs.
wrong, of having the moments when one of my grandmothers would call just at the
point of crisis, when suddenly the whole
world existed in one place at one moment and everything made sense. But that was fleeting, enough to awaken the
soul, and enough to keep me going to church.
Twenties and early thirties were a forced march of marriage,
children, jobs, and generally making the world around me conform to my
will. Doing what was right guided my
decisions, be they in my behavior, in my relationships, or in my work
life. And I always knew what was right
and had no hesitance at all in sharing it.
My first real spiritual journey started – and it seems so
many of them do – with a loss. In this
case it was the loss of my marriage – the loss of my innocence - the loss
of the life I thought I was going to live.
It was the first time death truly touched my life and took a part of me
that could never be the same. I watched
myself do things I never thought I could do, one after another, for several
years until I finally learned the lessons I needed to learn.
Lessons like: Never
say never (as in “I will never get divorced”).
Never judge people for the relationship decisions they have to
make. Never give up on your children,
no matter what they have done to you.
Sometimes you do have to fight for what is right.
Many of you know what it took to learn those lessons even
without my laying it out. Last week our
priest talked about God “fertilizing us” for spiritual growth. And as he generously pointed out, the best
fertilizer, as he put it, is manure shoveled on thick, messy and fragrant. And as we dig out, as we ask for help, from
God and from people, we find the grace we need, and we grow.
Resurrection – accepting death in our life, and accepting
that we will be transformed beyond the death of what we hold dear – our
relationships, our careers, our health, and yes, someday our lives – and that
in the end it will all be OK. That’s
what this journey seems to be about – transforming ourselves and the world
every day. . From that death emerged a new relationship, a
new understanding of love, a new closeness to my children, and a new discovery
of who I am. And excitement to see what
will emerge from the next.
Now, would someone please pass me the pitchfork?
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Today's picture - the road to Haleakala, circa 2006.
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